Living to our potential

Wouldn't it figure that just as soon as we're able to start saving money, instead of spending to get ahead, everything would go awry?

I went back to work for the first time in nearly 3 weeks today. 

This payday I made the decision to buy curtains to finish off "the look" of our room (and hide my storage bins) to maintain my sanity. It was going to be the last thing I was going to buy toward that end for quite awhile. I'm sick of spending money on this darn little area. Upon bringing the curtains home it became evident that I bought them 2 feet too short.

I made my trip back to Target this morning to exchange them, in doing so I also found what looked to be the cutest tank top to wear at work because I had planned my wardrobe poorly for the newfound spring weather (AND it was 75% off!). Only to realize it was a jumpsuit tank top, not JUST a tank top! Haha!

My stomach has been having problems lately - serious frustrating problems. I've felt pretty sure for several months now that I have something along the lines of Celiac  Disease and have put off getting actually tested for it because I'm a cheapskate and don't want deal with the numerous co-pays it will take to get all the proper testing done. I have cut gluten out of my diet just to see if there is a difference and there certainly is. I resolved today that I'm going to bite the bullet and actually go to the doctor to have the testing done.

Go figure it would also happen today that my car just dies. Driving home about a mile and a half - two mils from home and it just quit on me. Not a battery thing either. The engine more or less exploded, probably due to a lack of oil because of an oil leak.

Now I'm carless and we're having to shop for a new one.

It's really inconvenient timing (as if a dead car is ever convenient!). With Kenny going back to school, we're trying to save money (especially for a new insulin pump for me with mine out of warranty), I'll be, once again, set back and continuing in my super cheapskate ways and delaying the blood tests a little longer. I'd really just love to get the Dexcom system I've talked about before and that's another huge Durable Medical Equipment co-pay, like my insulin pump.

I think God allows these things in our lives to encourage us to live up to our full potential. Taking life in stride as it comes to us. I try to do my best, and have taken the whole car-exploding-thing quite well this evening. It's "par for the course" and, well, doesn't phase me as much as it should.

Of course when I sit down and think it all out I get a little more depressed about it, knowing how much we'll have to spend to get a "new to me" car. We just paid off our credit card and I'm bummed about having to put money back on it. Tonight I feel like we have taken many steps backward and are gaining no forward motion, like we have planned on.

Again, we are being spurred on to live to our full potential. How will we handle this hurdle? How will we deal with everything that is thrown at us? I don't know! We'll take one day at a time. For now, I'm not sweating the car. It's just a thing. God knew this was going to happen. It will all work out somehow, though I have NO idea how yet!

Lows, Animas, CGMS, Dexcom, Resilience

Life has been a tad busy, a post I'll get to hopefully tomorrow.

Surprisingly my blood sugars have been doing pretty good amongst all the insanity that has been my life these days. I thought for sure they would be just awful  and I would have to do some serious fixing after things settled down. It hasn't been too bad, though.

Over the weekend (My BFF is Married!!) I had a blast, hardly ate a darn thing, enjoyed several glasses of champagne with the girls, Drank Coffee and not nearly enough water. I opted to go Insulin Pump free once I slipped on my Bridesmaid dress around 3pm and didn't put it back on until after 10pm. I hooked up a couple times to 'boost' myself, but the highest number I saw was 220 and I never went low, but rather stayed around 120-150. I was impressed/surprised/pleased.

Now, though? Sunday was great, had a minor low, nothing of note. Then Monday. Monday after waking up and having breakfast with Kenny I went back to sleep with Rylee on the couch. Lo and Behold I wake up with my blood sugar at a wonderful 38mg/dl! Oh yes.

I dislike that low of a number. I didn't realize it at first either. I felt lightheaded and was seeing fuzzy dots. Not until we got upstairs did I think to check, having thought I was just dehydrated and we'd both get lunch. I called Kenny right away (we were the only ones home that morning) and told him what was up. We talked for awhile as I shoveled food down my throat and made sure I wasn't going to pass out and need help or anything like that. After the 'All Clear' life went on as normal with that headache a person gets after a fairly bad low blood sugar. That headache that just won't go away no matter what.

In thinking about it, I am quite thankful at how incredibly resilient my body is. Many many many others would have passed out, been completely incoherent at that point. I have been much lower at a 26 before and able to keep my wits about me enough to get out of the low into 'feel really crappy the rest of the day.'

Funny thing is that when a Low Blood Sugar like these strike they totally sneak up on me. I end up feeling a million times worse after I start coming back up into more reasonable numbers, like 50-70mg/dl. At that point I start getting all shaky, sweaty, clammy... Not before.

I would just LOVE to have a CGM from Dexcom. That is something that has taken me awhile to "Get on bored" with. Much like my pump. I went into it kicking ans screaming and really just don't want to go back to shots ever again. Animas and Dexcom are supposed to be working on a Pump integrating the CGM system, which only Minimed offers at this time. It's supposed to be out at the end of this year. We'll see!

I know CGM systems are not a fix for checking blood sugars regularly. I would just like assistance in catching trends upward or down. Helping me work toward a little more fine-tuned goals. Hopefully catching those downward trending moments and preventing nasty 38's when I'm home alone with my daughter. I don't like that and they, honestly, frighten me a bit. I try not to let much frighten me, especially things that I don't have a lot of control over - I would like to have more control over this one. Soon, I really really hope, soon.

For now I am still thankful that I have the ability to be as self aware as I am and that my body is so resilient.

My poor pump :(

The warranty on my Beloved Insulin pump is up this November. It's hard to believe that it's been 4 years since I got hooked up to the very thing that I swore I wouldn't ever wear.

I've had my ups and downs with it for sure. Times where I went back to MDI (Multiple Daily Injections) then back to the pump, then back to MDI.... Fact of the matter is, though, I have much better control with my Insulin Pump.

In the beginning of April 2008 I decided to go back on my pump after almost a year off it. Little did I know that at the end of that month I would find out I was expecting our little Rylee. Talk about great timing. I was able to get my awful A1c down in the 8's, then 7's then 6's for the rest of my pregnancy. Ending with the most fantastic number I have ever seen at a lovely 5.4.

My pump and I are buddies. Sleeping together, eating together, swimming together, having a baby together. The only time we are apart are the few minutes I get in the shower every day, even then it's only a couple feet. I have gone through many a pump. I'm not sure how many times I have had to have it replaced. I am not ginger with my little buddy. He understands, though, he's apart of my rough and tumble life. Which has, incidentally, gotten more rough and tumble with our munchkin around always keeping me on my toes.

I am a little distraught about the warranty going out. S

ee, when I first got it 4 years ago, it was completely paid for on the insurance plan. Since then I got married and life has changed drastically - so has our insurance - which now says we have to pay 20% of the cost after meeting our deductible. It's a little stressful to be certain. I could meet the deductible fairly easily with my prescriptions, but then there is the 20%.

I know, there are usually payment plans. Kenny and I are desperately trying to get out of debt, though and REALLY don't want to add something else. We just got rid of something, and would really not like to put one back on.

Also, I recently decided that I would really really like to get the Dexcom CGMS. Another 20% copay for that, though. Unless Animas comes out with the integrated CGMS by the time I get enough money fund raised to get my new pump. That would be fantastically unbelievable. For now, though, it looks like we'll be trying to cover the copay with our tax return and try and pay more of a debt off and help pay things for Kenny's schooling.

:::SIGH::: Decisions, Decisions! Can I just have my warranty for a little while longer? Please? I'm a little unnerved about going for a few months without one. I'm excited for a new pump, though. I'm geeky and love new gadgets! Here's to a new life-saving gadget hopefully sooner rather than later!

In other news:

My daughter is totally cute and I really like her now favorite toy: