My Diabetes Soap Box

I've said recently that I've been back on shots since December. For the most part it has gone okay. The daily swings, figuring out which way to adjust the Lantus shot, figuring out what time of day to take that shot, or if it should be split into two doses. Then figuring out when it peaks in your body (because contrary to what they say, Lantus does have a peak and I always go low).

Theeeeeeen, for me, there is that fragile balance of - too much of my long acting Lantus, and too little. A unit or two too little and I wind up with consistent 200+ averages. A unit or two too much - I wind up with lows all day. Then, if I add exercise, or work more than usual, or run around with Rylee more than I have been - I'll have lows all day anyway.

I added a new exercise routine AND have been working every day with my dad, very long hours the last couple weeks. Even decreasing my dosage hasn't keep the lows away and I've been low in the middle of the night (anywhere from 1am to 5am) every day for the last 2 weeks.

Then I had a couple times where I over estimated the amount of insulin I needed for food (that NEVER happens! ...no, that's a total lie. Haha), I came home and wound up with nasty lows twice this week. Lows wipe me out. I'd rather have high blood sugars than low blood sugars. Then I get told I'm going to kill myself if I don't get a handle on my lows. ...noooooooo. Long-term - high blood sugars are so much worse than the one or two lows a day. I'm not going to get into all the medical details regarding that statement. I also don't need (or want) to hear them - so don't bother. :)

I know, it's stupid and trivial. But - dang it! - it bothers me! People just don't understand how much freaking work goes into getting "only" 1 low a day, or sometimes no lows and sort of steady blood sugars the rest of the day. ...I miss my pump. I'll be back on it soon. Very soon.

Rage

Frustrated just doesn't quite sum it up properly.

My blood sugar has been running high all day. Nothing below a 280. I've been taking extra insulin ALL.DAY.LONG. Doubling the amount of insulin I'd normally to take for food, I was starving so wanted to eat anyways.

My sweet husband took me to my Pilates class tonight, since my car is dead. We stopped off at Arby's for a nice "date" dinner without the kiddo, who my in-laws were watching for us, because they are awesome.

I check my blood sugar after getting home and what do I find from my meter?! "HIGH BLOOD GLUCOSE" Which means it's well over 600mg/dl. This, frankly, pissed me off. I already changed my site once today - only a day after my last site. 3rd Insulin Pump site in a day!

The emotion that describes my feelings that moment: Rage. All I could see was $ signs at the thought of putting in yet another site.

After putting in a new site I continued with the normal routine of loading a new vial (cartridge) of insulin only to find that my Insulin Pump seemed to not be working! "Great. That's just what I need. A broken car to replace and a broken insulin pump." Rage.

I was about ready to break loose with a mountain of tears. I held off until I called the wonderful people at Animas they helped me figure out that my pump isn't broken! Hooray!

Here's the irony, though: The problem is with the pump tubing given to me from CVS Pharmacy - who gave me hell a couple months ago!!!

The privilege has been bestowed upon me of calling them up tomorrow and demanding a new box of sets because I've had to waste so many tonight!

I'm very pleased, blessed that my pump isn't broken. Really ticked at the high blood sugar. I don't feel crappy right now, just thirsty as can be. I know I'll feel just terrible once it starts getting back into normal range. But, again, I'm just thankful my pump isn't broken. I'm not sure I'd have been able to bounce back real well after that breaking too.

Onto a better day tomorrow!

Irritable Highs

Rylee woke up numerous times during the night to the point I finally just got up and slept with her on the couch till Kenny's alarm went didn't go off at 7:23 this morning.

I instantly felt the moody side of me head towards irritation. Shake it off, you're just tired.

We went about our morning. Breakfast, cleanup, Rylee and I had some Bible time, shower, cleanup. Rylee was ready for a nap and I get a little more done. No, I didn't check my blood sugar all morning.

"What the heck?" was the first thing in my mind when this popped up:

It seems that the new pump site I put in yesterday before church didn't last. I figured it wouldn't. It hurt so bad going in and stung for hours later. When the pain subsided and I wound up low last night I thought I'd get at least 2 days out of it. Evidently not.

It seems that there is a lot of caked blood in the cannula that I pulled out this morning. Duh, there is no insulin going in! 

Irritability often strikes me when my blood sugar is on the high side. It also takes me too long to realize when there might be a real problem. I'm trying real hard to improve this area of my life. I prefer to deal with everything and fix everyone else, then sometime later I'll get to me. At times its hard to remember that I need to be healthy to be the best I can be for my family. I know it's for the best, though, and that my Husband would appreciate it. My Husband deserves it, my baby deserves it. SO, I'm going to keep my Endo appointment tomorrow. I'm gonna ask her for the blood tests for Celiac. Aaaaaand I really really don't want to! Oh well. I'll grin and bear it and it'll be a good day! Haha!