Diabetics and their toys

Yep! My new pump FINALLY got here today!

And because I am the kind of person that scours the internet looking for pictures (good pictures) of certain things I'm considering getting, want to find out more information about - whatever. I'm a visual person, I like pictures (obviously). So, I'll just grace this post with pictures of my new toy.

Rylee was almost as excited as I was...

...She couldn't keep her fingers out of my new toy! (I'm the kind of person that loves to look at and play with my new toys before everyone else, and no one should open my stuff before me. Ever.) But she was SO cute saying "Pump!" "Mama's Pump!" over and over and over again.

 

I thought the Ping was considerably larger than my old pump, really it's just a 1/4 of an inch at most longer. 

 

And how cool is it that there is an actual moving animation on the screen of the meter?!!  My husband has been saying that these things should do a lot more than they have been capable of. After just a few hours using it - I LOVE being able to see the status of my pump from the meter. I LOVE being able to give myself a bolus from the meter. I love that it's way easier to access the food list in the meter. So far, it's awesome.

Doesn't it look just right on my hip? Perfectly at home in my colorful house, my colorful wardrobe and personality. I'm in love with a stupid gadget.

Apparently I'm supposed to go through "training" with my doctors office to be on the pump. It's almost identical - as far as the functions go. So, I went ahead and hooked myself up anyway. I'll keep my appointment with my doctor, like a good little girl. But I'm a geek and like to go through manuals and figure things out myself. My own basal rates, my own insulin to carbohydrate ratios, my own insulin sensitivity factors... you get the idea. 

Anyhow, There's my new toy. Sorry to put you to sleep with pictures (...okay, I'm not really sorry), but I love seeing pictures of everyone else's diabetic crap - so there's some of mine too. 

Have a great night!

Cartridges, Pumps and Insulin - Oh Joy?

Oh, site change day, how I hate you - and yet, I am forced to love you.

Without taking the time out of my day to refill the cartridge with precious life-giving insulin I'd certainly be a lot worse off. A few minutes of the day really isn't so bad.

It does irritate me, a lot, though. While I certainly appreciate the blessing of having such a wonderful device to pump my insulin into me as I tell it - allowing me only one shot (if things go right) every 3 or 4 days instead of 6+ shots every day. It really is more convenient to my life to just punch a few buttons and have my insulin instantly on its way to me instead of having to draw up a needle every time I need it.

Okay, I'll try to be thankful, grateful, not so irritated every time I need to refill my pump. It only takes a few minutes, not several hours.

Oh, and these super cute pink infusion sets (a gift from a sweet woman in the diabetic community, as I had run out last week while still waiting for the insurance company to process thing), I guess they make it all a little more okay.

I love my pump, I love how it allows me to be as free and able to live life as I can. I love how it allows me to be a mother - skipping meals while taking care of my child, staying up all night as she gets up for the 100th time, chasing after her as she shrieks for joy. It allows me to be a wife, staying up late eating ice cream with my husband, going out for hikes, paint-balling...whatever the heck I feel like. I'm grateful, really, sometimes I just need some perspective.

Breaks, Insurance (again), and Pumps

So, I've been taking a bit of a break from most social-networking. I've still been on facebook, just not as much. It's been a nice break. Sometimes for the sake of my sanity I need to disconnect from everything.

Anyhow, I think I'll be back more regularly again.


The glutton for punishment that I am - I'm going back into dealing with my insurance company.

My Insulin Pump's warranty has been gone since February. It's been proven that my pumps only last me about 6 months at a time before I need them to send me a new one - just because I'm so hard on them in every day use. The battery case ends up cracked, the rubber on the buttons wears off leaving electronics exposed, it refuses to prime... and so on.

In the name of tradition - my pump is rapidly falling apart. The rubber over the buttons is peeling off - and I've already done my best to preserve that. I accidentally exposed it to several X-Rays last week- it doesn't seem to have done any damage, but it's just another risk to it seriously failing me soon. I've already noticed some problems where it's not actually priming even though it says it is - leaving me with awesome high blood sugars, usually overnight.

When changing my infusion site the other day I realized that I will either

A. Need to order more supplies soon

B. Go back to Multiple Daily Injections (MDI)

or C. find out exactly how much a new pump is going to cost and see if that's even an option

I decided I've got a little bit of time before I'll need to order more supplies (a few weeks) so I'll call Animas and see what we can get going for me there. I had them run the numbers with my insurance company to help me figure out how much money I'll actually have to pay out of pocket after my 20% deductible and possible trade-in value for my current pump.

No one told me it takes 48 hours for them to talk to my insurance company and figure everything out so - impatient me called them yesterday afternoon and then I felt like an idiot after they told me it takes 48 hours so they'll call me tomorrow (now today). Ah well. I'll know more at some point today, I hope.

I kind of exciting prospective with possibly getting a new pump (under warranty!!!) is that we might be able to do a CGMS system for me too - we'll meet the deductible for the year and all the rest of my supplies will be covered 100% for the remainder of the medical year. - We'll see, though. Everything is all just "possibilities" right now and nothing is set in stone.

I'm really really really really hoping it'll all be feasible, though. The pump at least. If we can meet the deductible too - that would just be awesome. I absolutely HATE the infusion sets that I'm being forced to use right now because they are all that is covered under my prescription part of my medical plan. I could get the ones that I want under Durable Medical Equipment but at at 20% copay per box - it's just not a do-able option right now.

Here's a vent - Why does diabetes have to be so expensive!? It's irritating that my medical condition takes away from things I could be doing/getting for my daughter. It takes away from going out to dinner once in a while with my husband. Gr.

My husband is so sweet, though. Yesterday I told him I was feeling bad about possibly getting a new pump because it makes me a really expensive spouse - he told me "I married you knowing you're going to be expensive. I still love you!" Okay, he's definitely a keeper and the sweetest guy ever.

Alright, so I'm going to wrap this up for now. Here's to being back to some regular-ish posting!

Sick? Naw, just High

With a nasty rash of illness going through the house, Starting with Rylee, then Father and Brother-in-law, then to Kenny - where he ended up with Strep Throat - then onto my Mother-in-law I thought that MAYBE I escaped since it has been 2 weeks and I have yet to come down with the symptoms.

Beyond disappointed doesn't even describe the feeling when this morning it appeared that I had the symptoms everyone else did. Your fine one moment then it just HITS you. I got up, got Rylee started to do something then I instantly felt like I was going to Puke.

Feeding Rylee breakfast was an interesting feat,  I couldn't stay standing or sitting upright for more than a couple minutes at a time.

After I got back to the couch to lay down for the rest of the day I ached. I was nauseous, weak, THIRSTY, and my lower back hurt. A lot. I started with my blood sugar at 180mg/dl this morning, then without any food at all it shot up to 488 (I suspect fowl play on the part of my meter).  No amount of bolusing would bring it down. Not entirely a-typical of illness with diabetes.

Retracing the thoughts of my symptoms in my head to figure out what I could do to not feel so terrible it occurred to me that my lower back hurt, but it was more internal like my kidneys hurt.

Playing Diabetic Detective, as we must do almost daily, I had to wonder if my insulin didn't spoil when I left it out in my car overnight a few days ago, and I had just refilled my pump yesterday.

Ironically enough it was my last vial and I am waiting for my insurance company to send my next 3 month supply so I didn't have any readily available to test my theory out.

Anyone just love their doctor? I do! We've had our irritations in the past but she is ALWAYS there when I need her. I called them up, let them know my symptoms and why I thought my insulin had spoiled - they came through with not just one vial of insulin but 2 insulin pens (which I haven't used in years) as well! I was able to give myself a huge shot right outside the office back in our car (Oh, did I mention that Kenny, who had just gotten home from work early, drove me there so I wouldn't have to limp along feeling as absolutely horrid as I did!? Well, he took me and he's awesome!).

Still running higher blood sugars at the moment but starting to finally feel better. I'm thankful I recognized that my insulin was bad. I would have gone all day essentially with no insulin and certainly would have wound up at the hospital for diabetes related problems for the first time in 5 years. I like to avoid visits like that. As I am sure most everyone likes to avoid trips to the hospital when it can be avoided.

Since pregnancy my symptoms of High and Low blood sugars have changed. Also the way my body handles things have changed dramatically. Before I would be able to (as an eating disorder riddled fool) let my blood sugar run high with no insulin in my system and handle it just fine with no 'side effects' other than thirst and peeing every 10 minutes. 

Now, a single night running high with no insulin lays me out flat in borderline Diabetic-Ketoacidosis and sore kidneys to boot.  Not to mention the extra priorities of taking care of my Munchkin even when I'm sick - which is a feat in and of itself.

So, back to hoping I don't get sick from what everyone else has and hopefully back to a "normal" day tomorrow! :)

Irritable Highs

Rylee woke up numerous times during the night to the point I finally just got up and slept with her on the couch till Kenny's alarm went didn't go off at 7:23 this morning.

I instantly felt the moody side of me head towards irritation. Shake it off, you're just tired.

We went about our morning. Breakfast, cleanup, Rylee and I had some Bible time, shower, cleanup. Rylee was ready for a nap and I get a little more done. No, I didn't check my blood sugar all morning.

"What the heck?" was the first thing in my mind when this popped up:

It seems that the new pump site I put in yesterday before church didn't last. I figured it wouldn't. It hurt so bad going in and stung for hours later. When the pain subsided and I wound up low last night I thought I'd get at least 2 days out of it. Evidently not.

It seems that there is a lot of caked blood in the cannula that I pulled out this morning. Duh, there is no insulin going in! 

Irritability often strikes me when my blood sugar is on the high side. It also takes me too long to realize when there might be a real problem. I'm trying real hard to improve this area of my life. I prefer to deal with everything and fix everyone else, then sometime later I'll get to me. At times its hard to remember that I need to be healthy to be the best I can be for my family. I know it's for the best, though, and that my Husband would appreciate it. My Husband deserves it, my baby deserves it. SO, I'm going to keep my Endo appointment tomorrow. I'm gonna ask her for the blood tests for Celiac. Aaaaaand I really really don't want to! Oh well. I'll grin and bear it and it'll be a good day! Haha!

Funtimes

I had managed, thus far, to not ever need to run out of the house in the morning with my hair un-done from my shower while also not having make-up on. I am a tad bit vain and do not like to leave without my hair done. Usually I'll find time to do my make-up at red lights or before I get out of my car at my destination. My hair, though, I'm self conscious about.

This morning everything took me at least twice as long mas it should have. I realized too late that I needed to be driving already to make it to Rylee's well-child-check-up on time. So, I grabbed my purse, then puppy (in her crate) and baby in the other arm and split like a banana. Fresh out of the shower hair and makeup-less.

It took nearly 3 years of marriage and 1.5 years of motherhood, I skillfully avoided this incident, but today fate finally caught up with me. I had myself a little laugh about it as I pulled into the parking lot of our doctor's office, because I enjoy finding irony and humor in any situation.

...speaking of situations...

My pump battery died on me some time this morning. I have no idea when but far enough back to cause this lovely number to show up on my meter:

See, that darn pump is supposed to give me that "low battery" warning for a couple days. Then it will tell me "Go change this freaking battery because I won't do a damn thing until you do," and I'm a slave to my technology - so I do.

Not this morning. It just quit working. It happened after leaving in a huge makeup-less flurry that I realized there was no life in my pump at all. Upon returning home I was able replace the battery and dump 17 units of insulin back into my body and proceeded to eat nothing for the rest of the day.

Later this evening as my Mother in Law was asking me questions about how I was feeling (because we're living with them now and I get to see her every day) I ended up explaining to her that Diabetes is far from an exact science.

Most days a blood sugar like that would just totally ruin the day and I wouldn't be able to function. Today, though, it strangely enough didn't bother me one little bit. I took a nap with Rylee and life was just fine and dandy. Some days a simple 70mg/dl low blood sugar will send me over the moon with a nasty headache for the rest of the day. Other times a 38 will just be crappy in the moment and no problems for the rest of the day.

Diabetes is so far from an exact science it's not even funny. We can do the same thing every single day and every single day end up with different results, different highs and lows, different feelings - a whole different kind of day. Diabetes is a guessing game more than anything. We make it up as we go along. Diabetics end up knowing their bodies more intimately than most people ever will. We can tell you how we'll feel after just a single sip of regular soda, or what a mcdonalds cheese burger will do to our blood sugars. We know how to compensate less insulin for 1/2 an hour of exercise - while know it's possible that a low could creep up overnight as a 'side effect' of the earlier exercise.

Again, I am amazed at my body's resilience and I am so thankful for such supportive family and my ability to handle things I otherwise wouldn't. I'm thankful that my daughter even helped me out and took, such a long refreshing nap while I was helping my sugars come down from the clouds.

Now that we're back to our demented version of "Normal" - I'm off to bed.

Recap:

Okay, I'm more of a sane person again, so I thought an update and recap would be appropriate right about now. Haha!
Starting 5 months ago I thought it would be a good idea to get some more supplies ordered on my new insurance plan through Kenny's work. I had a huge back up of my Insulin, Infusion Sets, Cartridges and Test Strips.
It had been many months since I ordered more, I figured it was about time to get going on that. I had no idea how this new insurance would work out for my prescriptions other than that it was supposed to be about $50 for 3 months of mail ordered supplies. We had only been on that insurance for 6ish months and I, at the time, was in no hurry to learn the ropes.

We confirmed that my Inset Infusion Sets were covered with my insurance plan. I spoke to my doctors office, had them call in the appropriate prescriptions to CVS. Simple enough, right? Well, I thought it was.

When I checked my order online a week later to see where it was in the process I realized that they were sending me the wrong one of 2 possible types. Figuring it was my doctors fault for calling in the wrong ones I called CVS, canceled it, asked my doctor to put through the right one.

A couple weeks later I got a letter stating that the most recent order of Infusion sets was canceled because they were not covered under my plan. ::sigh:: Oh well. I'll just call them and see what's up.

I was told that they are covered. I order them. Again a few weeks later I'm told they are not covered and the order is canceled. Repeat several more times over the course of a few months because it takes them a couple weeks to "process" each prescription then tell me it's not coming.

Then we come to January. I finally get a 4 way conference call going on and between everyone we finally figure out what exactly is covered by my insurance company, what I can order and what the exact code I need to give whoever I talk to next time I have issues.

Called my doctors office, yet again, had them send over that exact order to CVS. Who then took a full week to process the prescription, and I told them I needed it expedited because they had screwed around with me for so long. CVS also screwed up and instead of Over-nighting these Infusion Sets to me (after we informed them I need urgently) they shipped the package, not 2day, or 3day but UPS Ground. From Florida to Washington. Suffice to say, I was upset.

THEN: (Oh yes, there is more) I get a call: they sent me the wrong ones.

How could this happen? I was out of Infusion Sets. I was already back to shots for a couple days which was causing me problems. I wanted my Infusion Sets. I needed my Infusion Sets. I need to be on my Insulin Pump. Life is so much better when I'm on an insulin pump with a little munchkin to chase after. Yes, there is tubing that she could accidentally rip out, but that's not so bad compared to actually feeling good and up to taking care of her.

I sat down and cried after that call. Kenny got on the phone after he was already an hour out of town. He pulled over on the side of the road and spent an hour on the phone doing battle for me. He got them to expedite the processing and overnight the RIGHT prescriptions. I had to wait an extra day because my doctor wasn't in the office that particular day. At least I was still going to get the right prescriptions by Thursday.

....or so I thought.

Thursday came, I waited around all day for that box of prescriptions to get here, it finally came...

...they were the wrong ones. Seriously. The ones that were supposed to be the "right ones" because they sent me the "wrong ones" turned out to still be the "wrong ones."

I, once again, wound up waiting around ALL.DAY. on Friday to get that original package that took nearly 2 weeks to get here. It came and those were the right ones!

The funny thing is that when I went to put one in today I realized that the tubing is nearly as long as I am tall! I was supposed to get the 23" tubing not the 43" tubing. I'm 5 feet tall, I don't need that extra crap to get in my way or for Rylee to play with (although she is very good about leaving it alone). Oh well, I can deal with that because at least I'll get my insulin delivered to me properly.5 months of insanity. Mostly finished. I'm sure I will run into problems next time I go to order because I'll need to make sure I get the right tubing, so I'll allow myself an extra month to let them screw up. I can sleep better now. No more major breakdowns. Much better, much happier. Now back to a more normal kind of life, hopefully without all this drama!

Exercise?

My baby is 13.5 months old. It's been that long since I've been pregnant. It's been a couple months longer than that since I've had a real established exercise routine. My body is telling me about it now.

I had to adjust my Insulin Pumps Basal rates right away after giving birth to Rylee - because I had a lot of lows. I had to adjust them further with breastfeeding and the TONS of calories burned there. I've not adjusted them since, though. My health has really taken a back seat this last year as I focused on all things baby.

A year later I'm realizing how bad that was. So, picking up the pieces to be a better, healthier mom. Get my blood sugars back under my control, instead of them controlling me. Get my body back in "shape." All my baby weight was gone a couple months after Rylee was born, which I was surprised about, being as I had gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy.

I used to run and weight train a lot. I've kept my "weight training" up with all the lifting and carrying of a baby the last year, but no running. I'm going to take it back up again. I've heard a lot of good hype about this Couch to 5k training plan. I've seen several with fantastic results with their blood sugars and weight loss. I'm not looking to lose weight, just get in shape, so I'm sure I'll have to adjust and actually remember to eat during the day now. ...shouldn't be too much of a problem since I tend to be a bottomless pit anyways when I exercise.

So, my challenge to myself is to start this running program tomorrow. Doing it 3 days a week, I think it'll be a Monday, Wednesday and Saturday thing for me. That gives me 2 days I don't work to do it and one day I do - hopefully that'll help me keep my motivation. I'm excited about this, hoping that maybe this'll become a good formed habit that I can go out and do with Rylee. She loves being outside so it should be a perfect match.

We'll see how I do with the blood sugars and basal changes to my insulin I'll have to be making. It's been awhile since I've done all that so it'll be a trial at first. Totally worth it, though, I hope!

Won't it stop already!?

I'm SO frustrated I could cry.

I've posted back and forth about my battles with our stupid ::insert expletive here:: insurance company. I was so fed up with them in November that I said "screw it!!!" and didn't order because they were once again telling me that they will NOT cover the Infusion Sets that I needed (after they told me they did...).

Of course that was the wrong response because I knew I was running very low on my back up supplies (down to my last box) and I'd be lucky to make them last through January - but I did.

Tonight I checked online to see what the status of the order I FINALLY got put through on Friday after a 4 way conference call with 3 different divisions of the Caremark prescription company and myself. I NEED those to ship out because, like I said, I only had one left. I found that the order had **3** different items in it! What the heck!? I only wanted my INFUSION SETS! NOTHING ELSE. I don't want to get charged $150 for crap I didn't order!!

How many people does it take to get the freaking order RIGHT!? It's been 5 months now!!!! 5 Months of dealing with stupid incompetent idiots who can't figure out something SO SIMPLE!

I'm so frustrated I could cry.

I called them and got it taken care of, or... ...I hope I did. Of course they can figure out how to screw it up again. They always do and I wouldn't put it past them. That put me over the top, though.

I've got a raging gum infection. I've needed SERIOUS dental work done since last May but we couldn't pay for it at all. Now our dental plan/coverage changed this year so all the work (root canals, crowns...) is 100% covered. I just have to wait 3 more weeks. This DANG infection is causing havoc with my Blood Sugars. I've seen above 400 mg/dl more times today than I will admit. My most recent reading was that blasted "HI." I want to curse every time I see that, except, I do my best not to.

It's not a nice friendly meter saying "HI! I'm glad you came to check in with me!" Its cruel and sadistic. "HI! Your blood sugar is somewhere over the rainbow at 600+ something, and you probably should take some insulin for that and get it back down to something I can read."

I'm so frustrated I could cry.

I used my last Infusion Set tonight. In faith that my new ones would come to me sooner than I expect.

I've had my Insulin Pump running at +50% all day and it hasn't made a dent in my blood sugars. I just want to eat normal meals! I've got it running at +80% now to see if that'll make the necessary dent I need. Combined with the changed Infusion Set. I'm sure the last one was bad. I've been using them much longer than I should just so I could stretch them out this long.

I'm so frustrated I should cry. I want to cry. I won't cry. It won't help with my blood sugars.

I'm going to go pee for the gazillionth time today and go to bed.

Tired

Excuse me while I go on a quick little medical rant....

I am thankful, I really am, that I "only" have Diabetes. I am thankful that it isn't something worse. I am thankful that it isn't more expensive. I'm REALLY thankful I have insurance.

But, Dang! It IS expensive!

I hate choosing between clothes for Rylee or Myself and Insulin or Pump Sites. I hate that Kenny gets to spend his play money on games and the like - and I have to sometimes choose to spend my play money on my drugs simply because it just has to work out that way.

I appreciate that he works and provides for us and that I can get these things to keep me alive. I don't want Kenny to feel like he is punished for my stupid disease by not being able to have a few things that keep him happy. The last thing I want is for him to resent me being diabetic. I know he won't, I just don't want to even have it be an issue.

I hate that when I DO order my supplies the incompetent pharmacist can't realize that I NEED these drugs to stay alive and so does not ship them out that day AND does not call when they have a shipping/billing issue!

I hate that my pump is going to be out of warranty in a couple weeks and we don't have the money to pay 20% of the copay for a new one!

I hate that wanting to stay in better control to live a better life (and in turn save us and hospitals and insurance companies lots of money!) insurance companies don't want to pay a little out of their pockets now to ensure they won't have to pay out their butts later!

Sometimes I don't want to think about any of this so don't take care of myself too much. If I'm not paying attention to me I'm costing us less money right now. ...but it's not good for anyone.
I'm not getting any younger, my body will not continue to be as resilient as it has been in the past.

I was in the best health while I was pregnant - because my baby's life and health was on the line. If only I could keep up the endless fight against my own body. Dang it, though, I'm tired of it!

I've got major dental issues these days - which in turn cause blood sugar issues which then cause those dental issues to not get any better which can then cause my immune system to not work properly leaving me more vulnerable to colds and whatever else may be floating around this time of year.

I'm just tired of fighting against myself. Fighting against the idiots that get into health care because it's a good money maker but don't really know what their doing. Fighting against insurance companies. I'm tired.