Irritable Highs

Rylee woke up numerous times during the night to the point I finally just got up and slept with her on the couch till Kenny's alarm went didn't go off at 7:23 this morning.

I instantly felt the moody side of me head towards irritation. Shake it off, you're just tired.

We went about our morning. Breakfast, cleanup, Rylee and I had some Bible time, shower, cleanup. Rylee was ready for a nap and I get a little more done. No, I didn't check my blood sugar all morning.

"What the heck?" was the first thing in my mind when this popped up:

It seems that the new pump site I put in yesterday before church didn't last. I figured it wouldn't. It hurt so bad going in and stung for hours later. When the pain subsided and I wound up low last night I thought I'd get at least 2 days out of it. Evidently not.

It seems that there is a lot of caked blood in the cannula that I pulled out this morning. Duh, there is no insulin going in! 

Irritability often strikes me when my blood sugar is on the high side. It also takes me too long to realize when there might be a real problem. I'm trying real hard to improve this area of my life. I prefer to deal with everything and fix everyone else, then sometime later I'll get to me. At times its hard to remember that I need to be healthy to be the best I can be for my family. I know it's for the best, though, and that my Husband would appreciate it. My Husband deserves it, my baby deserves it. SO, I'm going to keep my Endo appointment tomorrow. I'm gonna ask her for the blood tests for Celiac. Aaaaaand I really really don't want to! Oh well. I'll grin and bear it and it'll be a good day! Haha!

The Toddler Stage

That is the stage we are in now. You know those years they call the "terrible twos"? Well, it's a lie, just like "Morning Sickness" Is a lie. It's "All Day Sickness" and it's the "Terrible Toddlers."

Rylee hit that 'terrible two' stage all too early for me. I knew it would happen. I could see it coming. It hit in full force the last few days, though.

I attributed some of it to her probably teething again. She's only got 4 teeth and all her peers have 8+, I'm not worried about her development at all - I just figure it's high time for her to be teething again and I'm pretty sure she's got another couple trying to break through. If the last year has been any indication it could be well over a month, though, before we see any relief on the teething front.

However, there has been a major shift in her attitude. I couldn't believe it at first. We do our best to be very consistent in our discipline, so she does not get confused and knows that there is a very clear line between what is right and okay for her to do - and what is wrong and not okay.

Just a few days ago she started deliberately hitting me - in the face - she definitely knows better. She has also started that toddler thing where she looks at you before she touches/does that forbidden thing, makes sure I am watching, I tell her "No No, Rylee," and she deliberately does it anyway. Then turns and runs away to hide from punishment.

It makes me so sad to have to discipline her so often. She is growing and stretching her wings. Finding herself and pushing boundaries. So, we are letting her. All the while teaching that there are indeed consequences to her actions - the good ones as well as the bad ones.

It does stress me out, though, when she screams and screams and screams because she repeatedly does what she knows is not okay. Causing my blood sugar to skyrocket - then I become short-tempered with the short-tempered baby. I need to remind myself of this, and do my best not to stress it. She is a child and children will behave this way. It's in our nature. I just need to sit back, be patient, and take it all in stride.

My sweet sweet, always happy, very very good little baby girl was replaced by a monster today! Where did this little missy run off to?

Seas are Starting to Calm

After my nearly major breakdown last night and a fairly fragile day I'm doing much better tonight. Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement.

I spent most of the day feeling on edge. I had Kenny call and go to bat for me with the Pharmacy today. I was afraid I might not be able to speak civilly or even at all because I might just cry in their ear. Maybe that would have been good and helped me. But, you see, I don't cry in front of people. I might want to cry, but I don't cry in front of anyone other than my Husband - even then it doesn't happen often.

As is my Obsessive Compulsive nature I check and checked and check and checked and... the CVS website to see the status of my prescription. It's finally 'almost' shipped and I'm finally not stressing about it any more (at least not as bad).

We went out on a date together tonight too. We contemplated seeing if we could ditch Rylee somewhere and go just the 2 of us. Deciding that it would be our Valentines dinner - we took Rylee and had a great time. She was a very good girl. Kenny and I got some fruity alcohol drinks we enjoyed over dinner and had a fun time playing 'pick up the numerous toys dropped from the table' with Rylee.

Trying to pass the time and ease my fidgety self I made a cake. It's pretty "cute," different than I've done before. Not perfect but pretty sweet anyways.

My blood sugars have even behaved fairly well today after changing that site last night. I have a feeling it's not going to last 2 more days, though, because I keep getting a "occlusion detected" warning. Seriously annoying but, I'll deal with it so long as my new infusion sets get here.

So, I'll start the obsessive checking-if-the-pharmacy-shipped-my-stuff-yet game tomorrow. I'll go to work and wonder if they screwed up again and I'll really be out of luck. Hopefully Rylee co-operates with me tomorrow, She's not been sleeping well and has been a total grump.
Kenny had the day off, He'll go back and work more tomorrow. Oh, what a week it's been. I'm excited for Friday to get here - hopefully my prescriptions will get here then too!

...my prescriptions aren't on the forefront of my mind or anything... ...it's not like I need them to be healthy and I feel like people have been jerking me around and playing with my health without my permission. (End this post already, Bee! You've gone long past rambling!) ...I digress.

Note to Self:

Make sure to eat food when you're working on big projects. Not eating leads to not thinking very well and low blood sugars at the most in-opportune times.

Make sure to drink liquids when you're working on big projects. Not drinking leads to a serious fuzzy-minded-me on top of the already fuzzy-minded-hungry-me.

Remembering to do these things will help you remember to:

A. NEVER EVER Drink the baby shower punch!! It is NEVER sugar free or made with diet soda.

B. Remember to ALWAYS bring your own drink to a baby shower! They don't think to serve something as simple as water.

C. By remembering to eat and drink during your big projects you won't feel the need to binge eat/drink whatever you can get your hands on.

D. NEVER EVER EVER try something new and untested the night before deadline. Ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Spent my day at work yesterday to run from that to my parents' house to finish working on a baby shower cake for today. Not just any baby shower cake, though. It was the biggest cake I have ever made. It was for my soon to come baby Nephew.

I have done so much this week preparing for last night. Little steps all along the week to make the actual putting together of the cake go as smoothly as possible.

Last minute I decided to try a new technique for this cake. Mistake #1. That one mistake snowballed into me not getting home until 4:30 and getting into bed and falling asleep until 5am after getting Rylee back to sleep.

It's 6pm here now and just barely 13 hours since I fell asleep and it's been 9 hours I've been on my feet and busy today.

I am exhausted. I am irritated. I am enjoying sitting on my butt typing this out. I wish Rylee would stay asleep until we get up for Church tomorrow so I can sleep from now until church tomorrow. I'm keeping myself from napping, though, because I won't sleep well tonight if I do. And Murphy's law makes it so that as soon as I start drifting off to sleep in my nap Rylee's nap will end. So, I just stave that off by not napping.

My camera quit working last night so I don't have my pictures of my Cake. My mom has them on her camera. I'm really bummed I can't be sitting here right now fiddling, editing and sharing. Soon, though, I will.

I'm going to end this for now so I can stop looking like a complete idiot on here and continue my looking and behaving like an idiot back in my real world.