Sunday, May 31, 2009

Simply Sweet Sunday

Today was great! Little Miss Munchkin decided to sleep in her bed ALL NIGHT LONG! From 10:30pm when I layed her down to bed to 6:30 this morning. I'm still having a hard time believing it, its the first time E.V.E.R. for her (and me!). No, I do not believe that this will become a habit, likely its just because she didn't nap much yesterday and we went swimming too. Still, so stinking excited am I.

I didn't sleep much last night, my silly new mommy self woke up often and had to get up and check on Munchkin - making sure she was still drawing breath! Of course she was.

We showed up bright and early to a lovely park on a river to help Kenny's Dad stake out a spot for a surprise 70th birthday party for Kenny's Granny. It was a GORGEOUS day and I thoroughly enjoy any excuse possible to just sit at a park and do "nothing." Laying in the sun and going for whatever lovely strolls by (or in) the water - its totally great!

The party seemed to be a huge hit and by the time the afternoon arrived I was so exhausted we left! Not rudely, of course, but we did leave without offering a helping hand to clean. No one has mentioned this, so I'm thinking (hoping) we're not too hated for that. heehee.

Anyways, My very good looking husband wants to sit and watch a movie with me so I will totally oblige!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Saturday Musings

Sleep, or lack of it, has become a major focus in my life recently. The severe lack of it has caused me to be VERY Grumpy, VERY Un-Agreeable, and Very Depressed on some days.

I nearly broke down in hysterics a few nights ago, but God heard my misery and blessed me. He allowed me to have a decent nights sleep that night, Munchkin was more agreeable the next day and Kenny let me sleep in while he went to work the next morning.

I feel refreshed and renewed, which makes being around me much more enjoyable.

The last couple of days Munchkin and I have had some pretty good times, and some pretty frustrating ones. But the outcome is that she is now SO much more aware than she ever has been. She is now becoming more self-entertaining and is scooting herself all over the floor. Albeit not purposeful-trying-to-get-somewhere scooting but she's doing it anyhow. Just one step away from purposeful which is causing me a bit of anxiety.

Most moms have already baby-proofed their house before the baby is even born. Me, on the other hand... I was working constantly and by the time I got home I was in such pain that I sat my butt on the couch and didn't move one bit until I went to bed. Some nights I would muster the energy to put more of Munchkins things away or make the crib, maybe even do some dishes.

So now, I'm looking around and realizing that I am ill-equipped to have a baby crawling around and grabbing everything. Nearly everything within her reach is NOT baby safe. Either she will get hurt, OR her parents will want to hurt her for grabbing things she shouldn't (which would be no fault but our own).

That is another quandary for me - I don't have many storage devices to place things in to keep out of her way which will me having to spend money I don't have much of these days. Oh well! Tis the fun of parenting! Heehee.

It really is fun, though. She responds to so much more, and I can now lay her on the floor and she'll play with toys, grab at them and entertain herself by figuring out how to grab something with ::gasp:: two hands!

She loves the outdoors and now is curious about grass too - she wasn't too sure of the stuff at first.
Yeah, Life is Good again.

And I have the most adorable baby in the world.

Monday, May 25, 2009


Another fun day spent playing in the pool. I have a suspicion that this will be the case more this year than the previous two.

It's kinda funny, I was having "a moment" this morning thinking about how we're coming up on our second anniversary but this is our third summer of swimming at this apartment. I totally couldn't figure it out for abut 2 mnutes. The of course I laughed at myself.

Munchkin is becoming ever more aware and curious about her surroundings. She now tries to grab at my and others' faces, clothes, and whatever may be in your hands. Starting to make things a little more interesting with her now. Today she also started to shake her rattlle around, instead of just chewing on it loosing interest and tossing it aside.

In other news, I burnt today even while wearing 45SPF sunscreen. It is hopeless for me to even try and avoid getting burnt.

I also spent my "free time" last night when Rylee went to bed at 9pm playing Guitar Hero until 1am. (oops). I am horridly tired now and need to go to bed. The End.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Ready, Set, Fun!

Another Saturday has come and we have completely enjoyed it. This morning my baby (not so much baby anymore) brother had his birthday party at a local skating rink. One of those places that holds so many great memories growing up. I may have been seen partaking in a race with other silly people and my brothers girl friend. She's the tall, tatooed pretty one, I'm the short disheveled looking one.

Munchkin had a great time too. I took her out skating with me until the mean (with good intentions) guards of the skating rink told me I could not do that (So I did it on the carpeted area where they didn't have jurisdiction!).

She also begged to have the cup cakes we were enjoying. She also let us know that just a little bit was not enough as she'd start fussing for more after she finished the bit of frosting/cupcake given to her. No, that is not the face of a eager-to-eat-cupcake-baby. Is it?

I have the need to rearrange things and they usually come at odd times. Keeping with that tradition - I started this endeavor at 11pm last night. Finished around 12:30-1ish. I wasn't sure about it at the time, but I definitely like it.

Aaaaand this is currently the site at my newly rearranged house. Tuckered out Baby and Hubby. Some quiet for myself. I love it. Doesn't happen all that often for me, so I cherish the few moments of hands free, duty free time I have at my home without entertaining or being entertained by anyone.

Yes, this has been a great day in our weekend. I am pleased.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Adrenaline, I hate you.

OooooohK! I just had the most awful thing happen and am having a hard time sleeping again.

I fell asleep on the couch tonight, Kenny is away from home tonight for work again. I was asleep Deeeeeeep, that wonderful "how am I still here?" kind of deep sleep. I awoke to see Munchkin hanging off my arm as she often does but I did not see her chest moving like normal, in fact, I didn't see it moving at all!

I shook her to arouse her a bit - nothing. Shook her more - still nothing. Shook her more and I think she responded. Sat with my hand on her chesta listened and heard her/felt her breath and everything was okay cause I then was able to continue to see the same thing happening.

Lets just say that the adrenaline ran really quick there and I don't appreciate the reason why! That girl is my world and next to Kenny if anything happened to her I would have a difficult time continuing on and moving through life.

I just sent many prayers out for all those sweet mothers who have lost their babies, who are still uncertain of their babies survival like B over at Little April Rose, and then the ones who are just learning the very near death of their child.

I thank my Lord for the wonderful life of my little girl, am grateful for every bit of time I have with her. Hug your children near and dear to your heart, and while you're at it - Pray for these I have mentioned and others as well.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

You still have much to learn, Young Grasshopper.

I have recently realized that being a mom has brought out some nasty traits in me.

I've always known that I can be a very impatient person. Growing up I prayed over and over "for patience with my family," particularly one of my little brothers - he got on my nerves something fierce. Little did I know that I wouldn't just wake up the next morning and have patience - voila! Rather, God would teach me to have patience by allowing certain siblings to be continually difficult - to my own benefit toward becoming that patient individual I wanted to be.

God then blessed me with my Husband. He finds a lot of amusement out of pushing my buttons and seeing before I become violent back at him. It is a sport for him. Of course, we have a great relationship and I reciprocate in a fun manner as well. Yet, it takes a lot of patience for me to remain in a calm state as long as I do (and I am never required to do this in front of company either!....).

As much as I have grown in those areas, I still have a lot of growing to do.

I am now a firm believer that the very act of becoming a mother gives you more patience than you ever could have thought you would have - and yet, it is not enough at times either.

No one in our lives will ever love Munchkin as much as Kenny and I do. Even though that is 100% the truth, there are times I get so frustrated I want to scream, or run away. Not for long - 5 minutes is all I usually need (sometimes 10). Sometimes she screams and I don't know why. Sometimes she will not let me do anything for a literal 2 minutes because she must be held and played with at all times.

Sometimes, today particularly, I got frustrated thinking and feeling like I would never have a chance to do something for myself while she is in the room with me. I want to be able to have her sit and have fun while I do something else too.

Then I remind myself that it IS only a time. She is already **5** months old! When did that happen? She has changed and grown so much and I have enjoyed it. The frustration I felt today reminded me of when she was just a couple weeks old and I had a crying fit thinking I would never have a life again.

I am pleased to announce that I have quite successfully had a life and enjoy it so very much. It is a New Life, but it is still fantastic. I just had "one of those moments" where its difficult to think of anything else. I have had to sit down, close my eyes, and tell myself "she's just being a baby, I may never know why she is so upset, this will be over soon."

I still have a lot to learn, and hopefully I'll never stop learning. I am thankful that God has allowed me the small amount of patience that I do have. That allows me to not loose my mind when Munchkin screams in the car. When Kenny does his best to help me with her but ends up making it worse (poor guy!). Or when she decides to wake up at 5am.

For now, the sun is shining and I need to go enjoy it with Munchkin!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Munchkin has been giving me a heck of a time the last few days. Yesterday she would not nap for more than 10 minutes at a time all in all it was about a 1/2 hour of sleep for a 5 month old which is not enough! She was grumpy and I as a result was becoming grumpy too.

Hubby spent the last several days at our brother in law's house playing zombie games, so I hadn't really gotten to see him and get cuddle time either.

After I finally got Munchkin to lay down in bed for the night, or so I thought, I demanded that Hubby cuddle with me and watch a movie. He obliged my need for his attention, unfortunately Munchkin did not. She slept for another 1/2 hour before waking up screaming. She slept for stretches about that long through the night too.

I officially woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning, grumpy and mean. She was marginally happy for awhile this morning then started getting grumpy as well, I layed her in my bed to give myself a "break."

Finally she took a hour long nap and I was a happy mama! When she woke up I fed her then we went for a walk to the grocery store. Gave her an entire container of baby food after we got back - she's finally starting to swallow the food rather than shove every bit of it out with her tongue, which is quite funny.

She actually allowed me to clean my house a bit today too. I finally accomplished something huge: I got the christmas tree clippings thrown away that where sitting outside our back door for the last 6 months!

All in all, its been a pretty good day. Still trying to figure out a good schedule for Rylee and I, if one will ever become a reality, I'll be pretty impressed.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Someone HIT me!!!

I've done my best to be a responsible and reliable individual. It hasn't always worked that way and I have had my irresponsible moments for sure. I have also been flaky at times too. It's really been a goal for me to be reliable and responsible in my life/with my life and all I do.

A major struggle for me, though, is with finances. I try SO hard to be on time with bills and not over spending or buying things that we really shouldn't. Yet I fail in those so much. I used to have the "excuse" of working 2 jobs and not having much time to actually sit down and work those things out or make the proper errands that needed to be made in business hours.

But now I sit at home with a baby all day and should have everything in order! Yet I still don't! Today Kenny got a "courtesy call" from our bank to remind us of something that should have been paid last week. I'm beyond frustrated with myself. Kenny has asked me over and over to be on top of this stuff and has even offered to take care of it all if I cannot. I insist that I can - I should be able to! - and I end up with a late bill still.

I am so mad at myself and lack of abilities to accomplish this simple task. Here is my very public "confession" and kick in the ass to get myself going and not ever do this again!

We want to buy a house SOON, but this cannot happen until I get my stupid priorities in order! Bills Paid=Responsible=HOUSE!

Can I just have money always there so I don't have to worry about whether we'll make rent every month?? Heehee. A trust in my God exercise and a Good Steward with Money exercise. Especially since work has been more scarce for Kenny recently, making his paychecks increasingly short and the last bit of on-the-side work I did didn't end up paying.

I need to come up with some good ways of actually earning extra money from home. ...I'll take awesome pics of your kids for you! heehee. Or design a blog/web banner for your site for you too.

Speaking of jobs, my dear Sister-in-Law has been looking for jobs for years, specifically in her graduate field of work. She's had a few but the job ends up not being what it promised in the first place, leading her to need to find somewhere else. If you all could pray for her that would be fantastic.

Monday, May 18, 2009

3 strikes I'm out!

Upon examining my last several posts I realized how BAD they have become! My grammar and spelling is atrocious! I must apologize to all. I hold myself to a much higher standard than that and am quite ashamed of myself. I'm so tempted to go back and fix all the stupid problems that I allowed to infiltrate my posts.... ....but I'll let my flaws remain visible. So, feel good about how much better than me you are for not ever allowing such atrocities to happen! heehee.

I am right now sitting on my couch typing this up because I spent my precious time away from home today - spending it instead with Kenny, and my lovely Sister in Law and her awesome husband. Now once I returned home I realized that I have a bunch of laundry to finish and none of it is done, Kenny has nothing to wear for work tomorrow. Silly Bee, Trix are for Kids. Don't do that again!

Because my car is "broken" again my mom took me out grocery shopping. It was a good day, despite nothing super productinve happening. :) Anyways, there is my short random update on my life today. For the 3rd time. haha.

Here we go again!

So, this week has been the kind where you wish you could erase it and start over. Not all of it, and it really hasn't been that bad - but just parts of it.

I thank God for blessing me with the ability to shake things off for the most part and be able to continue on. I can still do that, sometimeswhen "so much" happens - its just too much. It's really nothing huge either, just all the little insignificant things that don't matter when you look at them individually - I broke plate and then left the barbecue on for 2 hours in the same day last week - nothing huge in and of themselves - but put those together with a dozen other little things - just kinda makes it all a bit too much.

In the midst of insanity yesterday it completely flew by me that my daughter was 5 months old yesterday! I feel sad about it, so today I'm going to try and take pictures and make up for it in my own mind. heehee.

Ah well! Its a new week! So, here we go!

I have to say that I kinda hate myself for liking Miley Cyrus. But... ....its true, she's cute and her music is actually kinda fun. I just ran across this video today and has furthered my liking of her...

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It has been quite a week for me, I'm so glad to start over now!

Kenny went out of town for work 2 nights this week so I did not think I could stay up late and sleep in the next morning with a baby. I didn't stay up til 2am and then have Munchkin wake me up at 6am both mornings.

I enjoy having Munchkin try new things and seeing her reactions, what parent doesnt? I did not, however, sit and just feed her ice cream 3 times this week. A good mother would feed her child vitamin rich baby food, not ice cream, so I certainly would not do that.

Speaking of ice cream, I didn't just eat it for breakfast while typing this post.

I did not allow my sleeping daughter to continue sleeping in her car seat until 4am this morning because I didn't want to wake her up getting her out of it when we got home after 11pm last night. That wouldn't be a good mother of me, would it?

Last Monday God blessed us with a set of new tires and wheels for my new car for $50 for all 4. Yesterday I did not swerve out of a red light runner and hit a curb so hard it tore a hole in my new tire. That would be far too ironic and just wouldn't happen, right? I wouldn't be without a car again and searching for tires a week after I already went through that, right? No, Not Me!

No, I would think twice about doing any of these things so I would not be guilty of any.

Have a great day, check out what everyone else has Not Done this week!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Frustrated Love

You know that good old saying "the ones you love the most hurt you the most"? Well, it still rings true.

My Dad's sister was in town all week, for the first time *ever* and it was great. I spend time with them last weekend and tonight before she leaves tomorrow, it was so great. On my parents' side of the family "gatherings" don't happen. The most that ever happened when I was growing up was my uncle, aunt, 2 cousins and my dads parents and us. That was *it* and he is the youngest of 7 children.

This gathering was twice the size! It is quite likely another of that "magnitude" will not happen again. It was quite a lot of fun. My Uncle taught us how to play Texas Hold 'Em the "right way" - casino style tonight and it was a lot of fun! I really enjoyed myself.

...but... then there is my oldest-younger-brother (I have 3!). We love eachother so much and have been each others buddy all our lives. The direction we have taken our lives is so vastly different, though, it is painful to watch. I know everyone is different but there is "good" and "bad" different.

This different is not good. It sucks and makes me sad, angry and irritated all at the same time. He screws up his life in a new way just about every time I see him. I don't mean the "drug and jail" kind of screw up. Just the - I'm a slacker and won't get a new job that actually pays me money even though I talk about it all the time, I have a lot of debt for a 19 year old but spend my money on sound systems instead of paying my bills, I also don't have a car and use everyone else' stuff to my own benefit. - sort of way.

Kenny and I and my Dad have busted our butts trying to help him get on track. He gets on track then just goes way off and out again. In October we dropped EVERYTHING - dad paid for the entire trip for me to drive 2.5 hours away for him to get his GED and be able to be promoted to a management position at work - he didn't finish it and has not continued to finish it.

We help him get enrolled in a program that'll allow him to attend college with "free" (so to speak) tuition, all he has to pay for are the books. He flakes out and FAILS every.single.class. that first quarter. The next quarter he registers and then doesn't go to class ONE DAY. He hasn't called to remove himself from the classes either.

He has an absolutely adorable and wonderful girlfriend and is screwing that up too. She is SO stinkin sweet! She drives from her work on her break just to bring him a mountain dew at home then turns around and goes back to work! She lets him drive HER car around while she's at work, he doesn't help with the car payment, gas, or insurance on it either! He uses HER phone cause he won't pay his phone bill with his money from the job he gets no hours at (and won't really search for a new one).

Its just so frustrating to see this happen! I want to SCREAM at him and shake him until all the stupid has fallen out the holes in his head and the sense has instead filled in that empty space and then cork it up so it cannot fall back out! But will it work? No. Can I make him see this? No.

That sucks! We all love him, and we cannot help him! EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. he hangs out with this very specific friend he screws his life up. He gets away from that friend - it gets better. We've told him that too, and he still does it!

I must pray for him. Pray without ceasing. I have a major flaw of being too passionate and too attatched to people. So I get mad when they screw up. Not because they did, but because I know what they really want. My brother specifically, I know what his hopes and dreams are - so when he does this crap - I get mad for him, not at him.

Pray, Bee, Pray. Just keep praying. It's your strongest weapon and only weapon for him in this case.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Vitamin D!!!

The weather was absolutely gorgeous today! It has not known that we are supposed to get our insane wind storms in march and april - not may. It has been SO windy the last few days that although it has appeared nice from the comfort from the indoors, it would near blow you away.

Today, though, just slightly cool breezes and wonderful blue sky and warm sun. We spent the day playing outside with Kenny's parents. They were having fun doing a slight bit of landscaping and general yard work.

Kenny is so cute, every once in awhile he needs a project to work on. He spent quite awhile working on this totally awesome and totally quirky go kart that has only 3 wheels - the single one being in the back of the thing. Its awesome you would love it too if you saw it, and would want one for yourself. Anyways, he and his dad were trying to get the thing to actually run (its about a once a year ordeal to get it to "go" then its fine for the rest of the season), I'm not sure that they succeeded tonight, though. He may go back tomorrow and do more to it.

The best thing about today, though = My baby sat up on her own!!!!!!!

She has been SO very close to it for a month now, just needing to steady herself with my finger, but would fall over almost as soon as I took my finger away. She had NO sense of balance at all! It was quite funny. But today she finally got it down! She'll still get unsteady and fall over, but at least she's getting the ability to try and balance now! My baby is growing up. I'm so sad, I don't want her to become so independent already! But this is the way of live, I guess. I don't have to be thrilled about it though!

I'll love every step of the way, but I'm allowed the sadness of seeing my baby become a little girl!

Kenny was away from Tuesday through last night and he's home now! I'm so happy. I love having him with me, even when we're doing nothing. Its great. Its the way I like it. :)

I haven't posted the last couple of days because I had a couple posts all typed up and ready to push the "publish post" button and then clicked off the page. They were written in total rage and did not need to be displayed for all to see and likely will never be seen. Not because I don't want anyone to see that part of me, because I am quite admittedly a hothead. But because it is not necessary to be said anymore. It was more typing to type and get it all off my chest, ya know?

Well, its getting late and I'm sure I have other things I need to go do... ...probably not, but its as good a reason as any to finish of this post!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

No words, Too many words.

When I turned on my computer this morning to check my normal sites I was "greeted" with the saddest news I have seen in awhile and it has hit me harder than it would have before my beloved daughter. Sweet Baby Kayleigh went home with Jesus after a long battle in the hospital. Starting her sweet life at just 1 pound and after several successful surgeries she was almost allowed to go home just one more to go... ...after that surgery she was declared brain dead due to an unfortunate accident. Since then her health deteriorated fairly fast, her wonderful parents had hoped to at least bring her home for a day or two before she went home to Jesus, but it was not to be. He allowed her to fly home and wait for her family to join her there one day.

Please be in prayer, it will be a long hard road to healing after spending nearly every day at the hospital with their princess for the last 11 months, and going home to an empty crib and beautifully decorated bedroom for this precious child.

Becoming a mother has changed me in ways I didn't know it was possible. Prior to being a mother (even when 9 months pregnant with my 9 pound wonder) I would hear about a sick baby and think "oh how sad" and be totally serious. I was serious about it, I would feel sad about it and really wonder about how that baby was doing.

But now I hear about babies, read stories, or follow a wonderful blog, and my heart breaks into pieces. I cannot imagine having my child so sick. I thank my Lord and Saviour for allowing me such a great pregnancy and healthy baby with all that could have gone wrong.

You see, I'm Type 1 diabetic, I went through a miscarriage just a few months before becoming pregnant with Rylee and my diabetes was not controlled. All these things put together did not create a great start to life for my sweet baby. I was so scared that something would happen that I didn't want to tell *anyone*! Not my parents, not my in-laws. We told them, but I insisted on not telling anyone else until I'd passed the 1st trimester.

A lot of people take a different approach and tell anyways because they want everyone praying. While I appreciate that, I didn't want to go through the pain of explaining I had miscarried again, should it happen.

After that 1st Trimester passed and we were "allowed" to tell at that point, I still avoided it. I told when I "had to." Not because I wanted to. I was filled with apprehension and fear that something would go horridly wrong. Everyday I researched and studied and filled my head with all the medical crap of what was going on every day/week/month of the pregnancy and also all potential problems.

Most people may be surprised to hear all this from me, I (think) I kept a pretty calm outward appearance of just letting things be what they would be. Which I did, I just needed to know everything - then there was also the fear and apprehension that things would go all wrong... ...though I knew there would be nothing I could do to stop it - I had to worry anyway.

When 34 weeks came around I was SO BEYOND DONE! Photobucketwith being pregnant, and yet had a little bit more worry added when they kept me at the hospital for hours because I was having some pretty good contractions. They ended up sending me home saying well, we'll just let it happen and see where we end up. Dear Rylee stayed put for another 4 weeks, MUCH to my chagrin. heehee.

When she showed up at a hefty 9 pounds I don't even know how to express the feelings that I felt. I couldn't believe that she was mine. That this was my daughter to love, to comfort, to teach and parent into a functioning child of God. I still wonder that she is mine. But I looooooove her! I can't imagine losing her or having her so sick in the hospital. But I know that if she needed something I would find a way to make it work no matter what. Whatever it would take.

Becoming a mother has made me smile at every mother I see in the store with their little babies. Has made me cry (yes, real tears) at many other sick babies and pray for them. Has made me enjoy just staring at my own. Has turned me into an aspiring photographer - not wanting to miss a moment in my princess's life. Has made me respect my mother and father with a whole new level of repspect. Has turned me into a "paranoid mother" telling people to "be careful." Has given me a lot more patience than I have ever had in my entire life.

Making a Baby and becoming a Mother is one of the greatest things I have ever done. The other being Marrying the man I made a Baby with. The two most wonderful and fullfilling things for me.


Thank you Jesus for for life, for children, for prayer that we may give our burdens to you. That we may grow through prayer and giving our burdens to you. For Love and Relationships. For the beauty of the Life you have created here on earth. Thank you for giving new fresh days to work with. Thank You for My Baby.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Tears, Stew and Broken plates.

Rylee has been a mama's girl from nearly day 1. She always needs me around and I have to be in eyeshot and usually holding her. That's okay with me, I know it will not last for long and I am cherishing it now.

She got her 4 (actually 5, we're on a bit of an "off" schedule) month shots on Friday and Kenny came with me. He got to see how sad it is to see a baby get shots and he feels like a bit like a bad parent for allowing our child to get stabbed and injected with dead illnesses.

Since then she's been very very very clingy - way beyond what is normal. So, she needs to be in my arms at allllll times and when in my arms doesn't work its at the boob to nurse. Which has been okay, I'm willing to oblige when I can.

But today... She cried all the way through my shower, then was fine for a short little bit after I got out, not quite long enough to get dressed, though. I had to start the crock pot for some Stew that I have been planning for days. Which meant cutting up the potatoes and carrots and browning the meat to place in it - its actually a bit more work than I knew!

Anyways, she started crying hysterically for me to hold her in 2 minutes of starting that process so I decided to lay her in her crib to allow her to cry it out while I finished creating this dinner I am not even sure will taste good. She continued to cry for the next hour and a half without taking much of a break and I felt like a horrid mother for allowing that.

In the midst of that hour and a half I managed to break one of my favorite plates into a BILLION pieces on the kitchen floor and the dining room floor - both of which are carpeted (yeah, no linoleum in our kitchen!) AND the rug that separates the two. All the while I was cooking the meat for the stew. So the next little while was consumed with picking up alllll those tiny pieces of glass of my beloved plate.

Kenny was so sweet he helped and even got his shop vac out of his work van to make sure all the little pieces were picked up - I didn't want to chance Rylee getting one in her foot and our normal vacuum isn't good for that kind of thing.

And all this happened by 10:30am.

My nerves were a bit frazzled and trying to figure out how to respond. I was frustrated then but its getting better. Rylee is sound asleep in my lap, though it took some time calming her down, she really thought I didn't love her any more. I waited till she took a couple moments break from crying to pick her up and I scared her so bad that she started crying more. Then kept her little mini sobs up while I held her in my arms for awhile. It was so sad.

I have now eaten lunch, the plate is cleaned, the dinner is getting cooked, I do have tires for my car that aren't going to cost a bunch of money, and maybe I'll take a nap in a little bit!

If this in indicitive of the rest of my week I'm in for quite a ride! Lets hope we're just getting everything out of the way today! heehee.

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Moday! This was created by the lovely a inventive MckMama as a fun way to start a week new and has spread quite widly since! Head on over to her blog and check out what everyone else did Not do this week!

My Husband and I did not stay up for 2 hours after laying down in bed talking about poop, diarrhea and our bodily functions surrounding those!! And we certainly did NOT lay there giggling and laughing about it like a couple of Jr.Highers!!! Seriously, we would never be that disgusting!

I did not put my daughters car seat in my backseat and drive several blocks before realizing I did not buckle the seat in!! And I definitely did not do that TWICE in the SAME day. What horrible mother would do that!? Definitely NOT me!

I did NOT just open up the CrockPot that I got as a wedding present almost 2 years ago TODAY! It would be inconceivable to not use a crockpot and certainly not open it until two years later! I would not be the person to do that, never!

Who would eat a scrumptious steak dinner *3* times in two days?? Not Me! That would be crazy and rather strange too.

And, No, I did not buy a dress - the only one other than my wedding dress - just for a dear friends wedding (that I wasn't in). I also did not buy a pair of 3" wedge sandles to wear with that dress when everyone knows I cannot walk in heels. I also did not "curl" my hair for that same wedding with a **flat iron**. Furthermore, I did not almost cry for the first time at that wedding, cause I don't cry at weddings.

Have a great day and a fun week everyone!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

It's a Mom's Day!

And it's pretty cool. I love my mother so very much. She had a very huge part in helping me become who I am today. She has done so much for me and her family, its great and I don't know how she has done it! When we were little she'd sit and read to us, she let me pull a chair up to the kitchen counter when she was making pancakes for breakfast and I'd "help" her.

My mom let me sit in on her Tupperware parties, she'd let me "help" and make my own Toll Painting projects when she got into those with her friends. She let my brother and I crawl through the house like puppy dogs "playing" 101 Dalmations, pretend The Land Before Time and that we were cute dinosaurs and sometimes... *ahem*... taking eggs out of the refrigerator and putting them into the "nests" we had created out of our little bean bag chairs.

Yeah, it was awesome. I love my mommy.

Today is my own very First Mommy Day! This ADORABLE little girl is mine and she'll call me mommy soon and for a very long time after that. I still have a hard time believing that she is Mine, but I so love her. My world is such a much improved place to be now that she has been added to my life. I love it, even when she's not feel well like today.

My poor hubby.

Everything he wanted to do for me today didn't pan out the way he wanted it to. Turned out that my new (to me) car has a nail in its back tire and my recent driving of it has caused it to start leaking profusely so we had to air up the tire every hour or two today and we were gone from 9am till 9pm. Which, I guess, made it impossible to not do the first thing he wanted to.

He made the best of it, though, and took me out to lunch at TGIFridays - I looooove that restaurant. Its one of our little "nooks" that we go to. They've got some of the best steak too, at least our does. Afterwards I asked if we could go to a park and we did, it was great! I LOVE going to parks with rivers and such more than almost anything else. We dipped my poor munchkins feet in that icy cold river water, and no, she did not like it and let us know instantly. No, we did not leave her feet in there - we're not that mean!

My first mothers day was pretty great, especially with what Kenny had to work with! And we've gotta buy new tires for my car too so, that threw a wrench in what he wanted to do as well, I hope I conveyed to him well that I didn't care. I just loved spending time with him and my Munchkin that makes me a mommy.

I also can't help but think about the twins that I lost on a day like today. I wonder if they were identical, boys, girls, or one of each. I wonder what kind of personalities they would have had and what parts of Kenny and I they would have gotten. Its amazing watching Rylee grow up, I wonder how it would have gone with them. I miss them. And yet, if God had not seen fit to take them home to be with Him when he did, I would not have Munchkin - who I can not imagine not in my life any more.

Lord God, Thank you for my Sweet Princess that you have blessed us with and my wonderful husband that you have blessed me with. Be with my twins, tell them I love them and miss them. Thank you for my Mommy. I love and appreciate her SO very much, Thank you for Kenny's mommy too. Mothers are amazing, thank you for making me one. I hope I can live up to the standard set before me by so many that have gone infront of me. Thank you for all that you continue to do in our lives. Thank you for the example of the Proverbs woman, who I will strive to be more and more.

Thank You. Happy Mothers Day ALL mommy's out there!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Young and Married and Loving it!

When Kenny and I became engaged shortly after I graduated high school, He had just turned 19 and I was still 18, nearly every one we were in contact with (other than our families) questioned the wisdom in that.

The endless comments from coworkers about My having only dated one person and I couldn't possibly know that this was the right guy before trying other guys. Kenny got the - "Dude! Why are you tying yourself down so young! There is so much more out there to experience before you can't have fun anymore!"

Sure, its true, we were very young. But without a doubt that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We also were quite happy to spend all our time together and the "fun" our co-workers were quick to point out we didn't partake in so we were quite content with our outdoors going, paintballing, swimming, sledding, guitar and video game playing ways. In fact, we still are!

We've had our difficult moments, mostly because there was a shortage in money - usually because Kenny's job made it difficult plan from week to week, one time he'd get 34 hours, the next he'd get 6, it was so erratic there was really no sense of normalcy. But really, that's been our hardships.

...other than, of course, finding out I was pregnant. Twice. The first time was a HUGE shock, compared to the second. The first time was a mere 4 months after being married (not in our plans) and came to find out that I had been pregnant with Twins. Kenny had always wanted twins, a lot. It was something we had talked about everytime the subject of kids came up. Then the miscarriage came a few weeks afterwards and a whole new set of emotions came.

However, if that had not happened I would not have my sweet Munchkin here with me now being clingy-er than ever today. Okay, maybe not ever but still so very clingy today.

We still continually get the comments about our age and

"Holy Cow! You're married AND have a kid at 22/21!?!? ...On purpose??"

" Yes, ON PURPOSE. I chose to marry this guy. He chose to ask me. We knew that having a kid is a hazard of becoming married. Thanks for asking!"

We haven't regretted it one day since! Just today we had a conversation that went like this:

Kenny: "Man, I loved my wedding"

Me: "I loved our wedding! Thanks for marrying me!"

Kenny: "It was great, and no problem!"

We're still, admittedly, completely pathetic and I'm certain we get the eye rolls from the random bystander gawking at us still hanging on each other and being quite shame-less in our display of affection toward each other. But hey, can we help that we both see how incredibly amazing our spouse is and that God is even more amazing at bringing us together?

We're madly, hopelessly (as in won't ever change) and hopefully (as in full of hope) in love with each other. ...even when we're laughing at something completely dumb the other just did...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Photo shoot with mommy.

Nothing else today. Just my sweet little girl.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Well, here'll be my first attempt at Not Me! Monday Created by the illustrious MckMama. I've been stalking following her blog for awhile, and she has also taken quite a break due to her baby boy being hospitalized, but have yet to join in in one of these so here goes...

I did not feed my 4 month old Munchkin ice cream to see if she liked it, and upon finding out she did I did not feed her more! Because, you know, that would be against the rules to feed an exclusively breastfed baby ice cream - especially before getting her used to rice cereal!

I did not finish frosting sugar cookies with frosting that I had left out overnight and then continue eating them! Who would do such a gross thing? I mean, can't you get sick from that? I would most certainly not do such an unsanitary thing!

I also would never prop my daughters head up while nursing her so I can type and design on my computer with 2 hands. That would be just unfeeling and unkind, and what about sabotaging that "bonding time" that is exalted. No, not me!

I also would NOT dip my daughters pacifier in soda and maceroni and cheese sauce to keep her calm a little bit longer for me to finish eating my dinner. Her needs should always come before mine and it would be incredibly selfish to placate her for my own comfort. I would never do such a thing.

I also would not have serious anxiety about Munchkin sleeping in her crib away from me, although it is in my bedroom, and have to get up and make sure she's still breathing until she wakes up and I have a reason to bring her back to bed with me. That would be just crazy and neurotic and I am not that kind of mother. Nope, not me.

Well, thanks for reading all the things I have not done this week! Head on over to Mckmama's blog to read her Not me!'s and everyone elses out there in cyber space!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Etsy Rocks My World!

No, it seriously does!

Kenny's awesome sister (thereby being my awesome sister-in-law) asked me to help her out with a banner and such for her Etsy Page and I've been obsessively playing with it - improving, researching, then improving some more.

Earlier today I wondered what other peoples' banners on Esty looked like so I went perusing the site to compare my current work to what others already have (To my pleasure my stuff is average at least). And OH MY GOODNESS where was this stuff when I was getting married nearly 2 years ago!?

Oh yeah, that's right, I remember now: I was working two jobs more than full-time and planning a wedding, helping when I could with the same Sister In-laws wedding (married a couple months before us) and dealing with some insane family problems.

Seriously, though, had I known about this site at that time I would have SO bought stuff from those people for my wedding! Check this lady's site out: Hippie Bride This site rocks! If you're planning a wedding - check it out! Even if your not, go there anyways. I searched for a week with my parents looking for that "perfect" necklace to accompany my dress - I think I found the perfect one in the couple minutes I spent on this site. Also, the Veils! I purchased my veil for 6 bucks from Joanne Fabrics - just the Blusher, cause I didn't want a to pay out the extravagant amount of money charged for a veil and wasn't planning on wearing one much. But had I seen these, I'd have definitely shelled the money out!

Then there is this site: Kirsten James Handbags TOTALLY awesome bags! Sure, I'm quite certain I have the skills to make them myself, but would I? Probably not. I enjoy creating other things far too much to get around to that. If I had the extra cash for it I'd buy one of those right now as well.

I like supporting non-corporate business - A LOT. There is just something great about not feeding into the stupidity that is corporate politics. Kenny worked for far too long for one of the worst ones I've encountered. Anyways, These sites totally rock my world and there are SO many more! Everyone should shop here, or at least try to. Its totally great.

On a totally different side-note, I made yummy sugar cookies

tonight and had an enjoyable day with my awesome husband, my brother and his girlfriend. She's a totally sweet girl, and it's been great getting to know her.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Rain and Clean Times

I love the rain. It smells SO good, I love to fall asleep to it pounding on the roof. Unfortunately we live on the bottom floor of our apartment complex and I no longer get that luxury for now. I love it in the spring as it brings everything to life. Grass becomes greener, Trees bud, Flowers sprout, Streets get cleaner, My car gets "washed", Cleans out the air, Oh, and it smells fantastic!

I love the glorious blue skies that come after a rain as well, everything glistens and there is beauty everywhere to be seen. I love it. I love it all.

Days like that cause me to be rather introspective and all at the same time I clean - A LOT. I daresay my house is at a whole new level of "better than ever" since I moved here. I think I should take this time to suggest NEVER moving when you are 7 months pregnant. If you've done it and think it's "no big deal" - next time try it at 5 feet tall, (not pregnant 110 pounds) and carrying a 9 pound baby inside you - it is NOT a good time to move and expect to have your house set up the way you like it.

So, I have finally ALMOST got it to where my ideal level of organization standards are. The last bit of it is the second bedroom which is by my own admission a "dump room." I hate that and I would really like to have it a nice second room, and sometime soon hopefully Munchkin's room.

In the midst of my cleaning and pondering today I decided to move Munchkin's crib into our bedroom. Kenny asked me last night when we'll start putting her in her crib and then pointed out I'll have a hard time with it. Which he is very right about. I like having her in bed with me.

SO, I decided to start at least trying to lay her in her crib for a couple hours at night, or however long she'll stay - but only as long as she's in my room with me. Yeah, a little separation anxiety even in my own house. Yikes. Ah well, I am allowed and don't really care to ask what anyone else thinks about it.

In other news, my little brother is spending the night tonight to have a play night with Kenny, no doubt they will be up VERY late playing video games of the zombie explosion sort, maybe mixing in some other battle tactic games. While that is going on his adorable girlfriend is going to come over after work and I'll be trying my hands at cutting her bangs in an acceptable manner. All the while hoping that Munchkin will be content through that time. We'll see how it goes!