Transitions

Well, it seems now we're in that seemingly unending transition stage of life.

Winter is on its way out, yet still here and not ready to relinquish its hold on the weather for Spring. Spring is trying to inch its way in and has brought rain. Yet, the temperatures are ridiculously cold. The trees are desperately trying to hold on to the thought of spring, I noticed several trees at my parents' house turning green with branches full of leaf buds - and Tulips trying to inch their way out of the ground. Don't they know that it's still going to be below freezing most nights for another month or more? Spokane isn't a town with predictable weather patterns other than "it's sunny now, could change in the next 5 minutes."

Everyone is asking me now if I'm sleeping at night and if I want my sleep back. All coming from knowing sympathetic individuals. The funny thing is I sleep more/better now than I did when 7-9 months pregnant. It was IMPOSSIBLE to get comfortable and even to lay down normally on my back or sides, I had heartburn and reflux so bad that I pretty much had completely sleepless nights those last couple months. I am SO thankful for the sleep I am now getting.
That said, the sleeplessness that I do get from Rylee being up at night is catching up with me. I could easily take a couple naps in the day if I wasn't obsessive about getting a few dishes and a load of laundry done, hopefully put some things away and keep my house from driving me insane while Rylee is napping.
In the evenings when Kenny is home from work in the evenings we'll often try and watch a movie or something together and I almost can't make it past 10:00 and definitely can't make it till 11:00pm anymore. I was never one to fall asleep during movies, but I just can't hack it now. Haha! Figures my years of staying up till whenever I wanted and being able to get up and function on an hour of sleep are long gone!
I have also gone back to work. Only a couple days a week, but it's one more thing, and one more reason to not get a nap during the day. I love being able to take Rylee with me to work. It blesses me so much to be able to continue to be mom during work. I have to thank my Dad so much for that.

I love winter and am always sad to see that season leave. But having a new baby kinda makes me wish spring would come. I'm so excited to be able to see the world become green again and be able to take Rylee out in it. I love how God moves one season to the next, each as beautiful and unique as the one before. It excites me to see what new things he has in store for my life and those that are apart of my life.

Here's to a new tomorrow, a new spring and a new year of life!

Life, my life and change.

I never cease to be amazed at Life.

A year ago I wrote in another blog my feelings on Life and losing a person who is well loved. But I still am amazed by it all. Its coming up on the first anniversary of Sarah's murder, and I can't help but be a little sad about it. My husband's grandfather just went to be with our Lord, and that was such a bittersweet thing. And then there are new babies being born so close together.

Its amazing how often God will console our grief for our loss of a life with the blessing of a new life to pour ourselves into. He knows we grieve because we will miss the individual, and his comforts and timing are better than we could ever come up with. And many times I forget this.

Gods timing is so perfect and he continues to remind me of this. A year ago this time Kenny and I were barely "making it" financially, to say the least while he was working at best buy and I was working with my dad, having taken temporary leave from my Victorias Secret job due to my miscarriage Nov. of '07. A few months later in April we found out I was yet again pregnant, and still not making much money, we began to wonder how the next year would play out.

So many questions and things to resolve - such as - how will we both be able to take time off work for the baby to come? How would we even be able to afford me to take the needed time off work to have a baby? Then at the end of June God brought to Kenny a new amazing job offer. Really the best thing for us and him. Thanks to Gods provision we were able to purchase the things we needed prior to the baby coming. We were able to put a deposit on a bigger apartment and able to make it through not getting our previous deposit back. And now we're doing fine with me taking time away from work to be with our baby.

I love spending time with her. I wanted to go back to work right away, before Rylee came, but I have realized how quickly they grow and I want to spend as much quality time with her as I can. Unless God has more to say about this matter, we'll only ever have maybe one more kid, maybe. So I don't want to lose this precious amount of time I have to spend with Rylee as a baby. Its really amazing to see her grow and learn, and I love it. I love how perfectly God orchastrates things. Now I just need to remember that... :D

I'm going to preface this by saying I love to learn. I love school and I love to ask questions - even when being laughed at for not knowing something. I've always been this way and was that little kid who used words that she just learned that were much too big for her and didn't use them in the entirely proper context. - Granting me those "awwwe how cute" laughs.

Over the last few years I have learned A LOT, and not much to be had from any textbook, either.

Thanks to going to school at Spokane Community College I learned how many different kinds of people are out there in the world.

Thanks to SCC I learned that some people really do just become teachers to hear the sound of their own voice every day.

Thanks to SCC I learned that there is some awesome unheard of music - such as Irish Death Metal Polka.

Thanks to my job at Subway I learned how truly disgusting some people are - Toasting a mayonnaise and crab sandwich with the veggies on it?! YUCK!

Thanks to the nursing home kitchen I worked in I learned how important it is to love those around you and make sure they know it. I learned the value of listening to those older than myself - even if I still don't take heed from time to time. :)

Thanks to Victorias Secret I learned a lot more than I ever wanted to know about peoples personal lives.

Also thanks to that job I became the quite outspoken and opinionated individual I am now.

I also discovered there how much I truely like behind-the-scenes-thankless work. Yeah, weird, I know.

I have learned its best to always be on top of things, such as health and car insurance.

I now know that it is still possible to get pregnant on the pill that is supposed to be 99.9% effective, having been in that 1% twice within a few months of eachother.

I've learned that although being pregnant is a dream come true and some women love it - I hated it. I didn't have it bad, actually comparatively easy, but I still hated it.

Moving when 7 months pregnant is NOT a good idea - your house doesn't get put away until AFTER the baby arrives. No matter how hard you try.

I now know the true meaning of bad heartburn.

Thanks to my dad I have learned the meaning of hard work and a good work ethic, I am ever grateful for that.

I've learned how precious life is

To not take people around me for granted, you never know how much time you'll have with them.

How amazing it is that a this ball of a tummy can actually have a baby in it.

God only allows as much in your life as you can handle.

Being a wife is wonderful, I love it and couldn't ever spend my life with anyone else.

Being a mother is an experience nothing can prepare you for - not even helping your mom raise your younger siblings.

I am very biased and think my baby is incredibly adorable.

I may never get over my mental problems with being skinny, but I now know where to be comfortable at.

I can type with one hand incredible well since having a baby in one arm at all times.

I love my family, no matter how fed up I may get with them from time to time.

I find a lot of satisfaction in doing things myself, even if I should have help, I won't ask for it most of the time.

I love to be crafty, its just harder to do that now.

My life has changed in a million ways the last few years and I'm stilly wondering where all the time went and what exactly has happened. Maybe someone can clue me in. :)

Its amazing and wonderful to watch babies sleep and dream.

I now know what jealousy as a mom feels like.

I love my husband and I love my life and I love to learn and hope it will never end.