Thursday, June 24, 2010

Diabetes - A Silent Disease

Many times a day Diabetes can be seen by people paying attention. Seen in the form of blood sugar testing, taking insulin, replacing Insulin Pump Sites.

Yet, there is a whole different aspect of the disease that is rarely seen, and is very silent.

The every day drivel we live with.

Annoyances of taking the time to test our blood sugar, or taking the time to count carbohydrates in every bite of food so we can take insulin for it.

I think it's all annoying and tedious. I hate doing it. More than that, though, I hate when Ketones creep up for  apparent reason at all. More than High Blood Sugars they make me feel TERRIBLE.

Kenny noticed this morning that I wasn't my normal self. I sleep lightly and normally, I'll wake up at just him walking by me. Or, as he put it, it's like I can feel someone staring at me in my sleep. He could barely wake me this morning, which was okay. I've been exhausted lately working really hard helping my dad out and baking a big cake for a friend this weekend.

It took me a little over an hour to figure out that I had ketones. Nothing I could determine caused them. Gulped down lots of water and a couple hours later things are peachy again.

Stupid little diabetes related things can completely ruin a day - and it's out of my control.

Sometimes just the wrong food combination for breakfast can cause the most awful sugar headache that I can't get rid of for hours. Or a snack that doesn't agree with my blood sugars. Random ketones. Low blood sugars. All of it - can alter my day irreparably. I hate that.

It bothers me that sometimes that sugar headache makes me so grumpy I can't be a good Mommy for Rylee. She deserves a better mommy than the grumpy diabetic mommy. My husband deserves a better wife than that.

I've been making small changes here and there to better myself. It's not good enough, though. I need to be better. I need to not be so careless. It's just wearying. I do the bare minimum to get by day to day. Bare minimum isn't good enough. Time to do better.


Saffy said...

Sometimes I feel the same - in that I need to do more. It's constant huh? I was thinking that when I was having my eye exam y'day. It's the need for consistent goodness. I wish that we could have one day off a week. You know? Be good, really really good 6 days and then 1 day of goofing off, no carb counting, no testing, no hypos, no sugar headaches, no ketones... Hmmmm.

I'll confess that I often forget to test for ketones. Me bad.

Here's to the fact that we're not entirely crap in our control, we have pumps, modern insulins and generally are conscientious enough to actually realize that we need to up the ante... and I'm sure you're a better mommy/wife than you give yourself credit for. Hugs.

Kaitake said...

Be careful you don't start beating yourself up about this, it can be a slippery slope. And being guilty about that sort of stuff doesn't help (well, it usually only makes things worse for me anyway). Try just treating each event (high or low) as it comes, and carry on. If it goes wrong, it went wrong, but don't blame yourself too much. We're only human. And you already sound like a super-mum! :D

Post a Comment