Sunday, March 1, 2009

Adventures of Life

I love adventures and always have. As a little girl my mom read to me the Little House on the Prairie series, and all the adventures Laura Ingle had to tell about. My dad would read the bible to me, and I loved the stories of Daniel, Sampson, Moses and the Pharaoh, Ruth, Esther... When I was old enough to read I tried to read those stories myself.

I spent countless hours playing with my brother and the neighbor kids making up our own crazy adventures being lost kids in a jungle, or forest. Being FBI or whatever else came to our imaginations. One year for my birthday my Grandma bought me Nancy Drew and from then on out I was unable to put Nancy Drew or The Hardy Boys down and have read almost all of both series.

I continue to love to read such books. I still love adventure. But now I find it in my own every day life. Many years ago I encountered a horrible disease of my mind, the led to my body - being obsessed with my weight and how others perceived me. Even if others told me what they really thought, I thought they were lying and that I knew what they "really" thought. I had no desire to get out of that "adventure", I loved it and fed off it.

In the midst of that I met this cool guy and we became friends, I felt I could open up to him and tell him about this nasty mess I was stuck in - and how I loved being stuck in it. He was deteremined to show me how sick and wrong it was and to help me out of it. This was a new twist to my adventure - someone actually cared about the depth of it all and would talk to me about it more than "how are you doing?" - to which I would always lie about when people asked that.

Continuing on with that adventure I found myself in the hospital and could have died, ICU for days unconscious. Scared my parents to death, I am still so sorry for that. A month later forced back to the hospital again. I loved this adventure. I felt like I was accomplishing my goal. I was finally getting skinny enough that people would worry a little bit - I didn't really want them to be worried yet, though, I wasn't
that skinny. It wasn't part of my plan to be "found out" before I'd reached my Goal Weight.

That hospital stay I started dating that wonderful guy who came and visited me every day in the hospital and who I'd become great friends with over the summer. My adventure, which I now claimed a bit of a struggle, continued on. Finally semi wanting to get out of it and on with a different path in life. The next two years it would take to finally make a good amount of progress.

Two years later I would find myself being proposed to by this wonderful guy. I was amazed, a new adventure! But just like all adventures - I had residual effects from the previous one, still a struggle to be okay with myself and how others saw me. Still thought that I wasn't a very valuable person. But I was able to fake it well enough, enough to actually get it from being the forfront thought in my mind at all times.

The next year I was married to the love of my life.
Yet another great and wonderful adventure God had planned for me! I was thrilled to be spending the rest of my life with this man. I was SO excited to see what the new life brought us. ...much to my surprise and chagrin a few months after we were married I found out I was pregnant. I was SO upset. ...then the next set of news - I was pregnant with twins, Kenny had wanted twins SO badly, and I had also miscarried.

That wasn't exactly something I had wanted in my adventure. I was so depressed and upset about it all that I slipped back into the weight problem for a time. I quit one of the two jobs I was carrying and was not quite my normal self for awhile.

Finally pulling myself back out and becoming me we had a couple great months! Superbowl Sunday with friends and then Kenny's 21st birthday - it was a blast! Theeeeen it happened. I was yet again pregnant. How could this happen twice!? I didn't, understand.

God had me on another adventure. So we went with it, what else is there to do? Now, I am on that adventure, an even greater one than I have been previously. I've got this precious little girl to love and take care of. She relies soley on us for everything. I'm to raise her and honor my Lord Jesus in how I raise her and teach her. It's a frightening thing. But SO wonderful!

Everyday I see new things in her. Everyday I wonder what's next. And everyday I also see some little traight that my darling husband and I passed on to her that isn't one of our favorites. haha. Who ever said adventures were easy? None of the ones I loved to read were! They were all filled with countless moments of peril. Moments of lighthearted fun.

God has me on another adventure. That is how I look at life. It keeps me upbeat and able to keep going. Even in the rough times, and Especially in the good times.


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