Goals and Challenges.

Sometimes I wonder if there will ever be a day that I will not be tired again.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever had the self control to do all that I know I need to do.

This weekend Kenny has had off since Thursday. Thursday and Friday were not planned days, there just simply was no work to be had. But Monday he gets off paid. We decided to have my little brother and his girlfriend come and play with us for the weekend.

I disobeyed my better judgment and stayed up until 2-3am Friday and Saturday night. Although I knew that Munchkin would have me up in the middle of the night and early in the morning. The result is a nasty lack of sleep and a less than capable body.

My attitude has been kinda sour today and I have just not been "up to it" for anything. Mornings are my peak time. I am somehow, totally beyond me, able to be up, showered, cheery and have Munchkin bathed and dressed AND make a breakfast of some kind.

After that, though, its all over. I intend to get a nap with Munchkin when she goes down for one - but it rarely ends up happening. I feel like I "need so time for myself" or the need to clean. Then I end up being grumpy when she doesn't actually have a good nap - so she's grumpy too and I'm just exhausted and am not up to par.

So, it's now midnight and I'm still up writing this post. I have challenged myself to take the steps to accomplishing my main responsibilities in life before I do anything else. Paying bills on time, Teaching Munchkin, Cleaning House, doing what I can to bring in extra money for our little family...

I want so badly to be out of debt and not have my stomach in knots wondering if we're going to make all our bill payments. I'm okay not making the most money we could - just so long as we're together. But we do want to be able to provide for our daughter and each other in a fairly comfortable manner.

So, in the effort to be more self controlled - I will say good night and to the world this evening and actually make it into bed- hopefully being able to sleep and provide my daughter with a rested mommy in the morning.