Oh the lessons to learn.

As I am drawing close to my Lord again I can feel and see him teaching me things. The thing about being taught is that the process is usually a painful and difficult one for me. Yeah, it could be easy if I would just learn the first freaking time. haha. Lessons would be much nicer if I would truly take them to heart and apply them daily as soon as I realize them and learn them.

It would be crazy for me to go there, though. So I must continue in my own stubborn way and continue being beat over the head with a proverbial 2x4 until the lessons are finally ingrained so deeply forgetting them will be all but impossible.

I tend to give off the appearance of being quite happy go lucky, and I usually feel similarly. That is until something nasty comes like - having to choose food or bills. It usually ends up going to bills with just enough left over to eat top ramen and potatoes. I'm okay with that, though. Its just that my very sweet husband goes into what appears to be a complete meltdown and that really really stresses me out too. So we both become huge basket cases.

I feel like this is a major growing point in our relationship with Christ and our relationship as husband and wife.

I do also think that we need to be much better about how we handle money. We're not awful as it is, I just feel that we buy frivolous things more than we should. I sincerely hope that we can both do this without much more conflict and difficulty than we have had recently.

I'm also seriously considering taking on a Saturday job to have a little extra, especially with the Holidays and birthdays coming up - and recent extra bills. I just don't know if I can deal with that on top of everything else. I love having my little mini-me with me all the time. I love Kenny's and my weekends together. They are such great times for us to really be together that we don't really like to socialize with others too often. Heehee. I'll be giving up one of those blessed days to work. I don't know yet if its worth it. Still praying and thinking about it a lot. I feel like I'll miss out on time with my baby. Hm. Much more pondering about that one.

On the upside TODAY I FINALLY paid off a debt from a car accident that occured 3 years ago!! Its a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Really stupid too - I'll NEVER EVER see ANYTHING from this payment. What I've been paying on this could have bought me a MUCH newer and nicer car than I currently own - but I have been paying on some other ladies car for the past 3 years simply because I was uninsured for, I kid you not, 1 week. I was actually on my way to the car insurance office when this stupid event happened.

Oh well, be thankful in everything is my lesson today!