Thursday, September 10, 2009

I hate that every thing I want to write about lately is my frustrations in life.

I really want to get away from myself. As if that could happen.

I've been short tempered with Kenny and Rylee. I've been bad at keeping my house clean - which has a very negative effect on my psyche. I lack all motivation to do normal things, get groceries see people work... whatever. I hate that.

I have to force myself to get going on those - once in them I don't mind but I completely have no motivation.

I still don't really know where I'm going in life. I want to earn money from home, but all those options require spending money to make money. Of course.

I'm stressing about money, again. I hate money. I wish we could disappear from the world of money. Of course, that would never happen. Not that that sentence makes any sense anyways.

I need to be more disciplined and controlled again.

I feel so unhealthy these days too. My back hurts like I'm 8 months pregnant, so do my knees. I'm tired and easily frustrated/angered. I can't seem to get enough sleep no matter what I do and I hold my days in such disdain I really don't understand.

I don't have many friends in the real world to scream all my frustrations to these days either. They've all moved on and I need to find some new ones. Only thing is a "new friend" with which you can do that takes time to develop and I want to scream at someone now.

Oh, to be "normal" again! Now, knowing that'll never happen, I've got to try and figure out what do to about all this.


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