Sunday, February 14, 2010

Notebooks from the Past

I love God's sense of humor.

We took a trip to the storage unit where we have our own "personal" 4x4 square to store what we don't want in our apartment. I was cleaning out and needed things taken there so I could have some sanity back in my life, I can't deal with clutter. At. All. Anyways.

I found a box of notebooks I wrote in. I am obsessive compulsive about writing in notebooks. I have dozens and dozens of them. I haven't been the last year and a half or so, though. Life caught up with me and the time to keep a notebook like I used to just disappeared, so I turned to blogging instead?

Reading through the one I kept right before I met Kenny and it went through until just after we started dating, I can't believe how much has changed, and how funny things are.

Several months after Kenny and I met (we had kept in touch via Instant Messenger, because that was the thing to do, and emails) he told me he broke up with his girlfriend. I prayed and prayed for him, that God would bring him peace, heal his heart so he could get on with his life. Because he was a sweet boy. - I did make sure to mention in my prayers that I didn't want to be his next girlfriend (because I didn't want to be a rebound).

Well, God sure healed his heart and got him through it. He also thought it would be awful funny if I would become his next, and last, girlfriend.

The poor guy, I flat out told him "no" the first time he asked me out. Not even a "Well, I'll think about it" or "Maybe" just a "No." I explained I couldn't because #1: I didn't want to be a rebound and #2: I didn't want to go out with the first guy that asked me because I felt like that would be a recipe for disaster for myself/mind/emotions.

He was okay with it and accepted that. We went on for a couple months, chatting nightly on Instant Messenger and E-mailing daily. We hung out on Wednesday nights frequently then went to youth group together. We went to Guitar Center together (my little brother, the one who is going to have a son in a few weeks, tagging along because my Dad wouldn't let me be alone with a guy yet! haha!) and played all the guitars we thought were cool. We played with effects petals, strings, and amps.

After a hospitalization in September that year for severe DKA and then another for Anorexia in October he asked me out again. Why on EARTH would he ask out such an, obviously, screwed-up-in-the-head chick!? I have no idea, but he did and I am so happy he did!

It was a long road from there. More hospitalizations, many a serious discussion about my childish mental state of needing to be bone skinny. Lots of ups, lots of downs and lots more ups. I can't say that I am 100% eating disorder free, I'm sure I never will be, but my husband is the greatest and my God is good. I deal with life every day and both Kenny and Rylee give me such a zest to live as I wish. I am free to be me with my Sweethearts and I love every moment of that. Good and Bad.

P.S. Another funny tidbit: In my criteria for a Man in my life, He couldn't interfere with my music! ...Kenny and I just spent around 2 years on the worship team for his home church. Playing then leading and directing. Oh sweet amusement!


Jenny said...

Love it! God knows what He is doing...I don't know why we are amazed sometimes? Aren't you glad we are not the ones in control? We'd mess up everything!

Post a Comment