Monday, April 20, 2009

Of Nutrition and Such

I mentioned yesterday that I like to eat healthy, and wished that I could do so more often. This is something that I have tried to do since learning about eating right in a school book. My mother homeschooled me and I loved it and was able to learn about a lot of great things - the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, Greek Mythology, Egyptian Mythology, Nutrition, a fantastic understanding of the English language, though I don't always follow through with that one. I do love to write, though. I really really love it.

Nutrition always stood out to me, and more so as one of my best friends growing up was a Type 1 diabetic.

For those who don't know what that is:

Type 1 diabetes is much different from Type 2, likely the kind that your aunt, uncle or grandmother has. It is Insulin Dependent diabetes - what it means is that your pancreas doesn't put out insulin anymore. Insulin breaks down carbohydrates that you eat. - So contrary to popular belief - if its "sugar free" that doesn't mean "carb free" and carbohydrates are NOT bad they are actually quite an essential for your body - they provide you with energy and are your body's preffered source for energy. Everybody breaks down those carbohydrates for their body to use with the insulin their Pancreas produces Interesting, huh?

Like I said, I love nutrition. Even more founded when I was diagnosed at 14 years old with Type 1 diabetes.

It was also about that time that I developed quite a distorted view of life and food. I became obsessed with calories and being thin - because I thought thin was better and that the thinner I was the healthier I was and the prettier I was. - Crazy, I know this now.

This would run my life for the next 4ish years. I met my husband in this unfortunate state, he is an amazing man and aside from Jesus was my best supporter through those years. Many hospitalizations a trip to the ICU and a lovely trip to the pediatric psychward I was finally on the upside of the battle I finally decided to fight. Just wanting to fight the battle out of the eating disorder was a huge step, it getting as far out of it as I have come was a long time coming.

I still continue to struggle with it, I don't know if it will ever truely be "gone." Through the pregnancy with my darling daughter I struggled with it constantly - I did my VERY best to be healthy for the sake of my baby. I'm back to my pre-baby size and weight, but my body will never ever be the same. I joke with Kenny now that if I could have my Before Rylee body back I'd never complain about it again. haha. Oh the irony of life.

So, now. Now what? Well, I am SO happy with life. I do still struggle, I do still dislike my body. But, I love my baby - and because of her I am more content than I have been in a long time. Kenny is awesome as well at letting me know I am loved. Health, true health, that is what I hope to attain for now.

By the way here are the flowers Kenny brought to me yesterday!

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